It’s hard to believe that three months have come and gone and I have already left the USA. When I left Thailand, I really thought my time at home would include a lot of reflection and processing. I had forgotten how busy life gets and how much time traveling really takes up. I found myself traveling so much that there simply wasn’t enough time to reflect on much of anything. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect, here are a few of my thoughts on my time home and what lies ahead.
(My sister and I after a night out)
My time home has been good. When you’re far away and you miss so much of every day life, the thought that goes through my head more often then I care to admit is, “Am I forgotten?” It’s a desire to be everywhere at once. To be able to walk through life with all the people you love most. The problem is the group of people I love most tends to grow bigger and more far apart. When I am in one location all you can see is everyone moving on with life in the other. When you get to the next location it’s the inverse. The potential for self-pity is endless! One of the most beautiful things about being home was seeing no matter how much I want to pity myself for being so far away, you all carry me in your hearts and thoughts all the time. I was so honored by your expression of that over and over again. I don’t know how I ended up with such an awesome group of people as friends, supporters, and family but I could not be more grateful to each of you. Thank you for opening up your homes, pouring out support, encouragement, and letting me know how much you care.
(My dad and I at the cabin)
So the question on everyone’s mind is probably two fold, where the heck are you and what is next? I still feel called to work with Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Many of you were aware that my plan after home leave was to go staff a Discipleship Training School (DTS, the same school I did in Australia in 2009) in Latvia. That school was canceled for several reasons, mostly, the lack of student interest. The same day the school was cancelled I felt at a loss for a plan. That didn’t last long! I received two invitations within the same week. The first was to go on my cousin’s boat traveling from Florida to the Bahamas for a month. The second was to go to Latvia for three months. As I considered these, plus a few other options, I realized two things about being home. You never finish catching up with people. The more I'm around, the more I want to be around, and could continue to "catch up" for a very long time! While this is a lot of fun at some point I just need to get back to work! I also realized that I hadn’t truly stopped since before I left Thailand. I’ve been in a whirlwind with a few breaks here and there since before I left Thailand.
(The Boat I'm on)
I knew that I really needed to take some time out, reflect, process, but most of all, I need to take time to dream. That is what I think this next season in my life is about, dreaming big dreams. I have a passion for what I do even when I don’t know what I’m doing! Now I just need the vision to accompany that passion. So I decided that what better way to take time out then to go to the Bahamas on a boat with people who inspire and encourage me. We’ve been here almost two weeks and all I can say is that I am SPOILED! The experience has been such a gift. My cousin and her fiance are amazing and very fun. I love love love the boat and I’m in the most beautiful place. It’s as if my whole spirit just rests with the surrounding beauty of the seas, the beaches, and the clarity of the stars. I’m faced with the dichotomy of the infinite of my surroundings pointing directly at how finite I am. It’s ineffably comforting.
(My view from my room)
I also was invited to come and work in YWAM Latvia for the summer months. This is a really great opportunity for me to get some outside perspective and to be able to share mine as well. I’ll get to work along side one of my really good friends and mentors. Again, my hope is that this will be a time to dream big dreams and come up with the vision that I would like to carry out in the next season. Thank you to all of you who gave so generously for this trip. I leave for Latvia on the 24th of May.
(My Cousin, Sarah and I with my new boyfriend I picked up in Compass Cay. I like him because he's a man of a few words and look how cute he is!)
(Holy Grounds crew at Yogurt)
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